we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
