JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
