better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
