apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
