I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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