I wish I could teleport
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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