chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it's like iHOP with fire
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
