I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
