escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize