the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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