What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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