Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize