In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
