He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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