so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
