Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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