Having a random hookup so left but love u
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
