this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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