is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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