Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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