Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
