Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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