she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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