He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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