I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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