That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
