What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
