So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
