he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
