you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have fence marks all over my body
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
