PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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