i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize