He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
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