Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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