we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
