Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
