Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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