I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He better not be in your backpack
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
