I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
