i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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