i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
