Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
