Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
