i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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