3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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