if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
