im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
