He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
