Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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