Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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