Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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