i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
