I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
