He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
