grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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