I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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