Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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