just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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