It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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