Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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