His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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