Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
