Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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