Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
