You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
