Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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