So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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