Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
